Why do I give people The power to hurt me How can I not change Even after thousands And millions of heartbreaks I'm still picking up the pieces From when my heart broke last time I'm trying to piece them together But, one or the other keeps hurting me I wonder sometimes How my heart has the capacity To feel things, even after all this time Always, immediately responds that tiny voice inside my brain. (I'm such a Harry Potter nerd) I do not know If I should laugh or cry This has become a pattern This breaking of hearts I want to cry For all the love I've given But never can seem to get back Maybe, that's the whole point To learn that love Is only to give Not to be gotten back To become strong Despite being vulnerable Maybe that is compassion That is how kindness Can and should change the world. I always end up Asking more questions Than finding answers Maybe, that's how life is As long as we ask The right questions And try to find answers We stumble upon truths That are both powerful and transformative That changes us from the inside That gives us our superpower (To become an Avenger Or a member of The Justice League) To help and hold To hope and give hope That despite everything We are worth saving Our stories are worth sharing And this life is worth loving And our love is worth giving.
Tag: life
Happy Women’s Day (March 8, 2020)
International Women's Day My phone is abuzz With wishes And inspirational messages. I was feeling None of it Why?? I asked myself I am in a slump In one of my darkest depths. Everyday I wake up and wonder Why my reality is this I am not inspired Nor am I inspirational Why should this day Matter...at all?? But then, I realised, I felt These wishes are unfair They should include Me and women like me Who feel like failures And struggle everyday. What message do WE need?? Not one of goals and achievements That's for sure! Maybe It should be One that applauds us For just being us Without our external Accouterments Accomplishments Maybe They should be Wishes Just for our tired souls For being brave For holding on For letting go For existing For surviving For simply being. Happy Women's Day To all of you (us) No matter who or where Or how you are Just for being you. Wish you a lovely Peaceful and joyous Women's day Not just today But for everyday That we keep trying Hoping, living and loving For a better tomorrow For a brighter destiny For a lighter heart For a graceful spirit And a lively soul.
Image Source: Image by Zizitom from Pixabay
Image by Alexandra Haynak from Pixabay
Image: The first suffrage picket line leaving the National Woman’s Party headquarters to march to the White House gates on January 10, 1917.
The Soul Spices
Life is tough. But, friends and family, sunrise and sunsets, clear blue skies and a warm breeze help us smile and get through it all. I think, a sincere acknowledgement of the nature, people and the planet that give us so much to live for, that spice up our otherwise mundane lives, is warranted.
It would do us well to recognize what we have and appreciate all of it, even the bad, because it has shaped us to who we are today.
It is always a good day to be grateful. So, here goes:
Warm words and smiles
Emotions without art
A sky full of stars
Blessed souls one and all.
Life with its ups and downs
Bumpy and beautiful
Like, streams with rocks and pebbles
Oceans that feel like peace
Mountains that feel like home
Books that feel like a holiday
Friends that feel like forever
Songs that fill up the universe
Beats that rhyme and pulse
Yield sighs aplenty
Of joy and content.
Breathe in the divine
To believe and thrive
Breathe out, let go
To live and love
With abundance and amity
For now and eternity.
I Cry; and, I Hope!
Just a reminder: to hope, despite everything else. Hope is that scrap of wood that we hold on to, amidst a sinking ship and turbulent seas. Hope saves lives every single day. It could mean a world of difference to someone struggling to get through everyday. So, have hope, spread hope and discuss hope đź’š Pay it forward, people!
I cry
With nostalgia
With vexation
With barely repressed
Frustration.
I cry
For the loss
For all the never will be(s)
For my utterly lacking
Current should be(s).
I pray
To Her
To guide and protect
To save my wretched being
From fading into nothing.
I pray
For us
For peace
For there to be joy,
And beauty.
I wish
To grow
To help
To be kind
In thoughts and deeds.
I wish
For goodness
For courage
For the heart
That breaks but also heals.
I hope
To wonder
To wander
To dream
Of a world with favour.
I hope
With my soul and spirit
With my strength of will
With all of my stubborn heart
That we shall survive,
And thrive
In the thrills of life.
Star-pockets: a toast to love, life and Korean dramas
A mother advises her daughter on a Korean drama I watched, that, marriage will never be easy. She says, “Collect your happy and bright moments like stars and store them in your pockets, so that, whenever there are bad moments, you can look at your star pockets and receive comfort from them”. The whole drama was like a book, comforting, in small doses. But, what I have also realized through this is that, life is never easy and that star pocket principle applies to everyday moments too.
I and my two best friends used to go to the beach in the evenings, lie on the sandy shores on our bags and just stare at the moon and listen to the small sound of the waves. That was 4 years ago. Now, we live far away from each other. Life is running its course and those moments, that shined so brightly, I may never experience them again. I remember their sparkle and the warmth but where do I go now, for the same warmth and comfort? Life looks bleak, if I think of it like that. But, the most wondrous thing is that those memories bring forth a smile even now, and even though it is not happening right now, it is enough to tide me over. Life becomes bittersweet, if I think of it like this.
There are many instances or examples of life being a bittersweet journey. My parents’ youth is one such. My dad is going to be 60 this September, i.e., in a few weeks. I remember him pushing me on the swing, decades back. That is one of my earliest memories. He was 35 then. Where have all those years gone by? I don’t remember. It all seems like a blur and I feel I am doing him a disservice by not remembering the distinct passage of time. I still don’t feel like he is going to be 60. Although he is world weary at times and wisdomous due to the years lived, he still holds idealistic hopes and has humour and heart. He is my father, my strength, my fall-back person, the constant that will always be present. But, what do I do when he is getting old? I am his kid and I love him too, in my own way. But, I am selfish and I will need him, always. How do I or how do we get over this? The answer, a different Korean drama tells me, lies in gratitude. Here, a character narrates that, time will pass and so, there is no use in holding back and having regrets later. So, the narrator says, “tell your loved ones, when you have this time, now, that you love them and say thank you”.
So, I say, I love you, to my parents, my brother, my friends, K-dramas, and a huge thank you for their love that’s kept me sane all these years, through thick and thin. As I kept writing, this has become a tribute post to my loved ones, although I always assumed it would be a more cheerful piece. But, I realise I am growing old and world-weary as well, and every lens is tinged with a bit of nostalgia, despite looking forward to greater adventures. Love and peace, everyone!
PS: Go on, open up to your loved ones. Express your appreciation, let them know how much they mean to you and how, they make this short existence, a worthwhile one!
Life in Scribbles
I started writing this one evening, while sitting at a seminar and feeling lost. I wanted to lay it all out in words, to comprehend my own confusion. As it turned out, I kept writing the whole day as I did not feel it was complete and thus, churned out such a long poem. I ha so much fun writing it; it is my entire thought process, combined with my love for the English language and poems.
By this time, you might have realised as I have done, that most of my poems rise out of my melancholy and are about my actions, feelings, and thoughts. But, these are also universal concepts and I hope you can see yourself in my words, relate to them and feel unburdened. If you can, I shall consider my purpose fulfilled.
Happy Reading!
There are scribbles inside me
Tangled and confused
Discrete and separate.
They look grey
Locked with nary a way
To become thoughts
That are not in knots.
Scribbling on paper
Might sort them later.
Random words, here and there
Console and comfort, everywhere.
These scribbles inside me
That I ramble and dabble
A life to breathe in
A space to breathe out
To pause and observe
To flow and feel
To love and live.
Till I find the light
Till the end is near
These scribbles should be enough
To keep warm, to be calm.
A strange way indeed
For randomness to clear chaos.
But maybe, just maybe
Stubborn spontaneity
Is the cure, to fight the need
To be rigid and sure.
Jump dance and shout
Paint sing and smile.
For-
Life, is incredibly fragile
But beautifully intricate.
Life, is lived in the details
Mundane moments and-
Scattered memories
Still, seamlessly synchronised.
So, maybe, just maybe
These scribbles inside me
Create a canvass, uniquely me.
A kaleidoscope
Of light and shadow
Colours and sounds.
A universe
Of stillness and motion
In time and station.
A girl
Of smiles and sadness
Words and verses
Of magic and mysteries
And romantic theories
Of simple realities
And unknowable infinities.
A girl
Blessed and wounded
Whimsical and practical
Passionate and cautious
A cauldron of opposites
That clash and coexist.
A girl
So singular and yet myriad
In all forms and shades
In the present and past
In the future forecast.
There are scribbles inside me
Forever long, floating along
Could be a specter,
Of buried dreams;
Or a wraith, light and graceful
Holding the hopeful
To guide the ride.
Sometimes crazy
Sometimes dry
And yet-
Always worth another try.
Paper Towns
Is life a constant battle in these paper towns/cities? Can we possess greatness and happiness at the same time? Or is one elusive while we hold onto the other? Read the article and let me know your thoughts in the comments below.Â
I liked Paper Towns (a book by John Green, of the Fault in our Stars fame), mainly because I could relate to it. It reminded me of Singapore. Whenever I walk, go on a bus in Singapore, and I see the sprawling HDBs, I think of the million lives that are living their stories right now, inside every apartment. A thousand heroes and she-roes, all braving through life, fighting personal wars that we can never imagine. A thousand mundane everyday things that make up our lives, like cooking, going to work, talking with friends. I am intrigued by all these stories. I want to know what is happening to everyone.
Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/eustaquio/4976552536
While house hunting, we came across an apartment owned by an old lady, who did not speak English. The view from the balcony was amazing. But, the house in itself was nothing to speak about. It was decent, mind you. But, the house was full of things, every space covered. The kitchen was full of tin cans of food. We clearly could not live there. But, thinking back, what was her story? Owning an apartment in Singapore is quiet a big deal. But, why is she alone? I would like to know the details. I am always interested in the details, because humans are so varied and so similar at the same time. Our lives are made up of these rich details that we may not find incredible but may be unique to so many others. All our stories are connected globally, but are different in terms of culture and surroundings. Did she struggle all her life to buy that apartment or was she a well to do person who had had no hardships in life? Those kinds of people are rare. But, I do not envy them. I think, hardships make our lives interesting. Otherwise, we would be bored to death living the same life every day.
All our lives are colourful and bright, if only we could see them as an outsider. We should appreciate what we have got, the people, the work, the house, the food, etc., instead of just wishing for more. But, what do we have in life, if we don’t keep wishing for more, whatever it be, money, adventure, happiness, love, friends. Maybe, the answer lies in the balance: In between too little and too much. Lucky are those who are able to identify that in-between place and stay inside them. Maybe I sound placid and not ambitious. But too much always brings in a myriad of problems, requires great sacrifices and loneliness.
So, what do you want? Greatness with sadness or humble happiness and success? I think we spend our entire lives figuring out the answer to this question. We can only hope we live full lives while finding out the answer, which is elusive rather than obsessing over it and losing what little time we have on this beautiful, beautiful planet/universe with the lovely, lovely people we know and love or shall meet and love.
Source: homesecurity.press/quotes/uncertain-relationship-quotes
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