Star-pockets: a toast to love, life and Korean dramas

A mother advises her daughter on a Korean drama I watched, that, marriage will  never be easy. She says, “Collect your happy and bright moments like stars and store them in your pockets, so that, whenever there are bad moments, you can look at your star pockets and receive  comfort from them”. The whole drama was like a book, comforting, in small doses. But, what I have also realized through this is that, life is never easy and that star pocket principle applies to everyday moments too.

I and my two best friends used to go to the beach in the evenings, lie on the sandy shores on our bags and just stare at the moon and listen to the small sound of the waves. That was 4 years ago. Now, we live far away from each other. Life is running its course and those moments, that shined so brightly, I may never experience them again. I remember their sparkle and the warmth but where do I go now, for the same warmth and comfort? Life looks bleak, if I think of it like that. But, the most wondrous thing is that those memories bring  forth a smile even now, and even though it is not happening right now, it is enough to tide me over.  Life becomes bittersweet, if I think of it like this.

There are many instances or examples of life being a bittersweet journey. My parents’ youth is one such. My dad is going to be 60 this September, i.e., in a few weeks. I remember him pushing me on the swing, decades back. That is one of my earliest memories. He was 35 then. Where have all those years gone by? I don’t remember. It all seems like a blur and I feel I am doing him a disservice by not remembering the distinct passage of time. I still don’t feel like he is going to be 60. Although he is world weary at times and wisdomous due to the years lived, he still holds idealistic hopes and has humour and heart. He is my father, my strength, my fall-back person, the constant that will always be present. But, what do I do when he is getting old? I am his kid and I love him too, in my own way. But, I am selfish and I will need him, always. How do I or how do we get over this? The answer, a different Korean drama tells me, lies in gratitude. Here, a character narrates that, time will pass and so, there is no use in holding back and having regrets later. So, the narrator says, “tell your loved ones, when you have this time, now, that you love them and say thank you”.

So, I say, I love you, to my parents, my brother, my friends, K-dramas, and a huge thank you for their love that’s kept me sane all these years, through thick and thin. As I kept writing, this has become a tribute post to my loved ones, although I always assumed it would be a more cheerful piece. But, I realise I am growing old and world-weary as well, and every lens is tinged with a bit of nostalgia, despite looking forward to greater  adventures. Love and peace, everyone!

PS: Go on, open up to your loved ones. Express your appreciation, let them know how much they mean to you and how, they make this short existence, a worthwhile one!

Life in Scribbles

I started writing this one evening, while sitting at a seminar and feeling lost. I wanted to lay it all out in words, to comprehend my own confusion. As it turned out, I kept writing the whole day as I did not feel it was complete and thus, churned out such a long poem. I ha so much fun writing it; it is my entire thought process, combined with my love for the English language and poems.

By this time, you might have realised as I have done, that most of my poems rise out of my melancholy and are about my actions, feelings, and thoughts. But, these are also universal concepts and I hope you can see yourself in my words, relate to them and feel unburdened. If you can, I shall consider my purpose fulfilled.

Happy Reading!

There are scribbles inside me
Tangled and confused
Discrete and separate.
They look grey
Locked with nary a way
To become thoughts
That are not in knots.

Scribbling on paper
Might sort them later.
Random words, here and there
Console and comfort, everywhere.

These scribbles inside me
That I ramble and dabble
A life to breathe in
A space to breathe out
To pause and observe
To flow and feel
To love and live.

Till I find the light
Till the end is near
These scribbles should be enough
To keep warm, to be calm.
A strange way indeed
For randomness to clear chaos.

But maybe, just maybe
Stubborn spontaneity
Is the cure, to fight the need
To be rigid and sure.
Jump dance and shout
Paint sing and smile.

For-
Life, is incredibly fragile
But beautifully intricate.
Life, is lived in the details
Mundane moments and-
Scattered memories
Still, seamlessly synchronised.

So, maybe, just maybe
These scribbles inside me
Create a canvass, uniquely me.

A kaleidoscope
Of light and shadow
Colours and sounds.
A universe
Of stillness and motion
In time and station.

A girl
Of smiles and sadness
Words and verses
Of magic and mysteries
And romantic theories
Of simple realities
And unknowable infinities.

A girl
Blessed and wounded
Whimsical and practical
Passionate and cautious
A cauldron of opposites
That clash and coexist.

A girl
So singular and yet myriad
In all forms and shades
In the present and past
In the future forecast.

There are scribbles inside me
Forever long, floating along
Could be a specter,
Of buried dreams;
Or a wraith, light and graceful
Holding the hopeful
To guide the ride.
Sometimes crazy
Sometimes dry
And yet-
Always worth another try.

Paper Towns

Is life a constant battle in these paper towns/cities? Can we possess greatness and happiness at the same time? Or is one elusive while we hold onto the other? Read the article and let me know your thoughts in the comments below. 

I liked Paper Towns (a book by John Green, of the Fault in our Stars fame), mainly because I could relate to it. It reminded me of Singapore. Whenever I walk, go on a bus in Singapore, and I see the sprawling HDBs, I think of the million lives that are living their stories right now, inside every apartment. A thousand heroes and she-roes, all braving through life, fighting personal wars that we can never imagine. A thousand mundane everyday things that make up our lives, like cooking, going to work, talking with friends. I am intrigued by all these stories. I want to know what is happening to everyone.

Image result for mount faber
Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/eustaquio/4976552536

While house hunting, we came across an apartment owned by an old lady, who did not speak English. The view from the balcony was amazing. But, the house in itself was nothing to speak about. It was decent, mind you. But, the house was full of things, every space covered. The kitchen was full of tin cans of food. We clearly could not live there. But, thinking back, what was her story? Owning an apartment in Singapore is quiet a big deal. But, why is she alone? I would like to know the details. I am always interested in the details, because humans are so varied and so similar at the same time. Our lives are made up of these rich details that we may not find incredible but may be unique to so many others. All our stories are connected globally, but are different in terms of culture and surroundings. Did she struggle all her life to buy that apartment or was she a well to do person who had had no hardships in life? Those kinds of people are rare. But, I do not envy them. I think, hardships make our lives interesting. Otherwise, we would be bored to death living the same life every day.

All our lives are colourful and bright, if only we could see them as an outsider. We should appreciate what we have got, the people, the work, the house, the food, etc., instead of just wishing for more. But, what do we have in life, if we don’t keep wishing for more, whatever it be, money, adventure, happiness, love, friends. Maybe, the answer lies in the balance: In between too little and too much. Lucky are those who are able to identify that in-between place and stay inside them. Maybe I sound placid and not ambitious. But too much always brings in a myriad of problems, requires great sacrifices and loneliness.

So, what do you want? Greatness with sadness or humble happiness and success? I think we spend our entire lives figuring out the answer to this question. We can only hope we live full lives while finding out the answer, which is elusive rather than obsessing over it and losing what little time we have on this beautiful, beautiful planet/universe with the lovely, lovely people we know and love or shall meet and love.

Uncertain Relationship QuotesSource: homesecurity.press/quotes/uncertain-relationship-quotes